Where to start?

At this point I am entering my third week of college; the first two weeks were interesting as were the ones leading up to it....

Let me start off by saying there is no orientation for the older student who doesn't need mommy or daddy. There is no orientation for the married student who wants to know what she should expect financially. There is no orientation for the commuter who doesn't care about housing costs and meal plans. Instead there is the orientation for the 90% (or more) traditional-living on campus-fresh out of high school freshman. That's the orientation I went to; the one where I knew the first time someone asked where my kid was I would punch them. Luckily there were no scenes caused by my paranoia. Or sadly depending on if this story would have been more interested if it ended with an arrest and explaining how I was banned from the campus.

The orientation is basically herding fresh faced 18 year olds from room to room. First you must print out your degree plan and activate your email. Being the prepared adult I am, I had already done these. Next the herd is moved to building number two where you must pose for your ID picture. Sadly this day I had woke up late and had no time for coffee or hair doing. I had managed the makeup on the drive over so not all was lost. While waiting in line, this bubbly blonde starts talking to me. To summarize the conversation I learn she is 17 and had to get her parents to sign a permission slip. Needless to say the look on her face was precious when I told her I was 28 years old.

At least for me, in high school I thought being in your 30's was ancient; and when you hit your 40's that was when life surely ended. Now as I approach my 30's, I feel that 90ish is about the right age to consider ancient and anything younger than that is young. This way I can ensure I spend majority of my life feeling young, and on the off chance I make it to 90 I can allow myself to be the grumpy old cat lady I deserve to be.

By the looks of my ID picture, the amused look was still on my face. Now I will spend the next six years looking amused on my student ID.

After IDs are completed the herd gets moved back to building one where sitting in an auditorium with parents who look more like the people I'd hang out with, I get to hear all about parent loans and housing. As well don't forget the meal plans or ways for students to control what the parents can and cannot see regarding grades. I took absolutely nothing away from this, accept that if I have a child and I pay for their college I will be sure to always have access to their grades. Sorry, but I consider paying for an education an investment. I must admit majority of this time was spent looking around and whispering my amazement to how young these kids looked to my husband.

What felt like 10 hours, but was more like 5 hours into this shindig; the herd was separated into smaller groups. At this point an older student, who I was at least 5 years older than; pointed out some of the buildings and discussed our specific college within the university. During this I felt a mild wonderful relief when someone in the group turned out to be only 2 years younger than me! And in my degree! Finally after weeks of having family and friends reassure me that I wouldn't be the oldest person on campus, I met someone! And before the first day!

After more touring and information that didn't really pertain to me, and I say this in all seriousness and not for dramatic effect; scheduling could finally be done! This is the one thing, the one reason I had even willingly attended the mandatory orientation. Scheduling is locked out completely until your orientation. This I disagree with on so many levels. As an adult who is surrounded by college graduates, I could have easily had my schedule completely weeks before this dreaded orientation if they would have made the exception and allowed it!

Once scheduling was done I bailed! My mission was complete. My schedule was done! I was happy with the results. Now to get class started......